Happy Thanksgiving

Last night I arrived in Chicago, spent the evening with a close friend, met a new friend from Iraq and spent the evening in a Hookah Lounge after a dinner of Cuban food, followed by Italian. After an evening the night before of listening to bad jazz in a bar in Brooklyn, I departed around midnight and rode to the Windy City in a Chevy hatchback with darkly tinted windows and 3 Americans from Chicago: a young guy who works as a private investigator (hence all the tint)and two musician-hippies.

Today, I had a quintessential mid-western Thanksgiving dinner with some family and friends at a suburban Chicago home, complete with a hummel doll collection and all. Very kind hosts and truly a cultural American experience for someone who has grown up in Woodstock and Boulder! Dinner was followed by foosball, pool and wii golf and tennis. I won a game of foosball and a game of pool.

Boys' Empowerment

I am in Herkimer, NY...home of the Herkimer diamond, land of the Iroquois (Haudenosaunee) Nation and our country's first democracy, near the famous Seneca Falls where the Declaration of Sentiments was signed and the women's rights movement began in 1848. Tomorrow, I will be leading my very first Boys' Empowerment program. I am interested to see how it goes! I have offered Girls' Empowerment workshops and Mixed Gender Empowerment classes, but this will be my first workshop exclusively for boys.

I have to wake up early, so more later!

A November in NY

Joyeux Novembre!

I have been in NY state for one week. I arrived last Sat. to warm weather and blue skies...to my surprise. This week has been dedicated to my work as play director, program developer and youth educator. In these last 5 days, I have taught one full day seminar on women's history and girls' empowerment to 7th grade honor students (this kind of gets me...you are only privileged enough to be empowered if you have the best grades in your class!), I have also taught 8 workshops on folk tales of the Catskills with 2nd graders, 4 workshops on women's history, gender roles and the media with 5th graders, and 8 workshops on conformity vs. diversity with 6th graders. In addition to that, I have rehearsed after-school with 2 different groups of kids for 2 different plays to be performed this week. One group is my youth theater preparing a revival performance of The Best of Monty Python. The other is a group of thirteen 5th and 6th graders who are learning the play I co-created in Turkey and will perform it for their school this Tues. Funny enough, this is taking place at the very elementary school that I attended as a child. Bringing it all back home.

My workshops provide me with a sort sounding board for integrating and exploring all the things that I am thinking about and learning in my own life. Right now I am encouraging 10, 11 and 12 year olds to question gender roles, pay attention to subliminal messages in media, realize that women have a history of slavery in our country (why do we never admit that?) and be willing to stand out, celebrate their differences and follow their dreams.

Yesterday, inspired by a French film I saw on the plane ride home ("L'Age de Raison"-I highly recommend it), I asked the 6th grade students to each write a letter to themselves as 30 year old grownups. I asked them to be sure to remind their older selves of all the things they feel are most important to remember and all the dreams that they want them to follow, in case they've lost their way. It was beautiful. Several of the kids shared what they wrote...I was very moved. I encouraged the kids to give the letter to someone older that they know and trust and ask them to hold onto it and return it to them when they turn 30. The kids seemed really enthusiastic about this idea. I wouldn't mind having such a letter from my own self now!

Poems

I have written three poems in these two months abroad:

This world we live in
is so many worlds in one
the old
the young
the healthy
the sick
the rich
the poor
a smile
a frown
the world changes
in one glance
from a stranger...
Do you like me?
Do I like you?
deserts
mountains
cities
oceans
rivers forming lines
in our own hands...
a sunrise
a sunset
a baby
a teardrop
the sun
shining through
a window
the quiet
corner
where your
grandmother
sits
to read you
a story...
We wander
and we worry
and we live
and we learn
and we forget
and we remember
and we embrace
and we love
and we die
and we begin
again...

Balikesir, Turkey
September 21, 2010

Venus's Lament

Fertile
Strong
a flower
a poem
but no arms
to embrace you
no hands to stroke
your face
You may suckle
my bosom
you may taste
the sweetness
of my lips
you may feel
the weaving patterns
of my legs
you may bury
your head
in the
soft understanding
of my belly
or in the
fold
between
my thighs...
but you will never
feel my arms
around you,
my hands clasped
delicately
on your neck
as we gaze,
you will never
touch
the pulse
within my wrists
or wrap
your lips
around my
fingertips
you may
slide your face
along my neck
feel
the smooth curve
of my back
caress
the slender contour
of my waist
but never
will we unite
with clasped hands
palms touching
fingers embraced
never
will I
touch
the warm, fullness
of your face

The Louvre, Paris
November 10, 2010

Metro Rant

The hustle and bustle
the rain
the chill
the steam
rising up
umbrellas
clank
on cement
then open
with a click and swish
people making plans
on cellphones
rendezvous
and the rush
and the raincoats
some stop
to buy fruit
from vendors
scarves flying
a limbless
panicked man
begging
for loose change
the joyful sound
of an orchestra
playing
"Carmen"
as people stop
to listen
the man
beside me
in the crowded car
has Michael Jackson
singing in his headphones
"mamasaymamasamamakusa..."
loud enough
that I can hear.
Mind the gap.
Attention a la marche.
Commuting on the Parisian subway.

Paris, November 11, 2010

Near Place D'Italie

I am now staying in a songwriter's home near Place D'Italie and the Chinese Quarter. I arrived last night in a flurry of luggage, after a day of scrambling to do a million odds and ends to move out of my flat in Le Marais. The rental term ended and I had to leave my little nest! Funnily enough, I am only 3 or 4 doors down from my closest friend here in Paris...but he doesn't know yet!

I arrived here and was immediately invited to sit at the kitchen table, a guitar appeared and I had the great pleasure of hearing a beautiful, original French folk song called "Conform", as well as many folk-style Bruce Springsteen tunes. With help from the wine, I even sang...a little. The song was a Tom Waits tune and my host figured out an accompaniment on guitar.

We went to dinner around 10:30pm at a hidden, local joint...the kind of place you would never find without someone local guiding you...specializing in Basque food. I had a delicious chicken with stewed peppers. My host drank another bottle of wine. I refused, knowing I would regret it. The place was rowdy and packed and everyone in it appeared to me like cartoon characters of French personalities. I am willing to wager I was the only foreigner in the place! From the back room, there came big waves of loud, drunken singing and chanting...as though a championship game had been won. But there was no TV and it was 1am. We later learned from the waiter that they were a group of off-duty cops from the Basque Country, visiting on holiday. We watched them spill out of the place, one or two of them almost falling in my lap as they woozily twirled by...singing all the way out the door and beyond!

Over dinner, we had an intense...and albeit, wine induced conversation about feminism and patriarchal society, followed by an equally intense discussion about life as an artist. It's funny how many men think they are feminists and yet seem extremely uncomfortable on the topic of feminism. And in turn, many women think that they are not feminists and are extremely fascinated by the topic.

The French folk song that I was welcomed here with, spoke to me deeply. It's about someone who senses that he is different from the rest and is praying to God to please just let him be like everyone else, so that he can be happy and accepted by others. There was one line that translated to, "You must be sure to bow low, because if your head hangs above the others, you are in danger". This is something I have struggled with for a long time. I know that I minimize myself in this way...often hiding my strength, my talents, my beauty so as to fit in and not stand out. I have a fundamental fear that if I were to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, I would find myself alone. The sad part is, the opposite is probably true! There is so much more to say here...any thoughts from you, dear reader?

I am super happy that the sun is shining and it is at last a beautiful, blue sky day after many days of rain. After half a bottle of delicious white wine and a good, restful sleep last night, I am planning to make the most of it!

A Dinner at Home

I just hosted my very first dinner in France. I invited the two friends that I have known the longest here in Paris, one French and one Chinese. I met them each 4 years ago on my last trip to Paris at the same event, but on different nights. Tonight,I cooked them a Brazilian dinner...one of my grandmother's best recipes.

My only complaint about this flat is that I can't stay longer! I love it here. I feel so at home, so in my world and comfort zone. It's like a little nest...quiet, creative, bright, cozy, all the things I desire in a living space. And a few days ago, I discovered another winning feature: the Japanese straw mat carpet lends itself perfectly as a yoga mat. And there is just enough space, between the couch and the bed for one person to practice yoga. So, I have been starting these last few days here with a 20-40 min. yoga...feels great to stretch again!

Right now, my home is warm with the good energy of friends, good food and merriment. We started off with white wine, fresh pears and grapes, Camembert and Swiss cheese with baguette, and Italian salami. Then, we had red wine with Brazilian picadinho, white basmati rice, sliced banana, and salad with hearts of palm. For dessert, 3 kinds of chocolate mousse cake from a local pastry shop and Ben and Jerry's praline, nuts icecream. It was a satisfying feast! My guests stayed until almost 1am...after the metro stopped running...and had to walk or take taxis home.

Half way through the dinner, my Chinese friend posed the question to us of "What is the meaning of life?" My French friend answered that he feels its a collection of meaningful moments. When I was asked, I quoted Monty Python and said "Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it...Always look on the bright side of life!" My friends didn't get the joke, so I pulled out the video clip from "The Life of Brian", so as to give them the context. They loved it and then one of them asked to see the clip of "The Ministry of Silly Walks"...which got us off an a half hour or so of watching Monty Python sketches while digesting dinner. The International language of Monty Python. I marveled to myself how here we were, 3 people from 3 different nations and different continents and all sharing our love of Monty Python!

This is my last night here in this flat, so I'm glad I got to soend it here with friends. Tomorrow, I am moving down near the Chinese quater to stay with a travel network host. I am sad of course to be leaving, but looking forward to getting to know China town better!

A Sunday in Paris

Contrary to the popular belief that Sundays are resting days for all of Western Europe, today was a great example of the amazing diversity of cultural experiences that Paris has to offer...even on a Sunday. I began the day by meeting a Chinese friend for brunch at La Duree; famous luxurious bakery on Rue Bonaparte, in the neighborhood known as St. Germaine. After 3 hours spent sipping cafe and consuming pastries, we strolled along Boulevard St. Germaine, wandering in and out of the few clothing stores that are open on a Sunday afternoon.

Next, we walked through the Latin Quarter (St. Michel) to the canal beside Notre Dame. We boarded a boat where my friend was donating an original painting for a silent auction event to support poor families in Africa. On the boat, everyone was setting up for a lively evening of live music, dancing and festivities. It was cozy and warm with overhead gas heaters and a smell of incense in the air. I was tempted to stay and have a drink as the floor gently rocked us on a cold, drizzly day...but I had to rush off to meet a French friend for a free concert at Gymnase Marie Bell...an old theater resembling a Victorian Opera house. It was beautiful, with 3 or 4 golden, ornate balconies and a painted mural ceiling. We kept anticipating the heckling muppets, Waldorf and Statler to pop out of one of the side balconies!

The concert was called Songs of the Soul and was being performed by a large group of singers and musicians somehow connected with the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Southern India. It was beautiful, soothing and inspiring. We left part way through the second half to go to a club near Parmentier that was offering live Latin music. Crowded and buzzing, with Latin, African, and Indian men winking at the women from every corner...this place was very culturally diverse, but it was hard to dance cause everyone was packed in so tight!

After half an hour, I had to skip the free meal-with-entry of Moroccan couscous and say goodbye to rush off to the Monet exhibit at Grand Palais, where I had 2 tickets for a 9pm viewing. There, I was planning to meet a woman from Lebanon (thank you, couch surfing) to give her the other ticket. The exhibit was awe inspiring, an international collection from museums all of over the world, here in Paris only for a few months. I was especially struck by Monet's self-portrait, his snowy landscapes that felt so soothing to gaze at, and the paintings of his wife...especially the one of her lying on her death bed. From far away, she appears to be wrapped in a gauze veil and up close, she appears to be covered in waves of the painter's tears.

Finally, I met back up with my French friend again for a late (11pm) dinner in Le Marais near Hotel de Ville. The temperature had dropped and I was cold and exhausted from the day...and desperate for some nourishment! We walked up Rue des Archives, looking for a place that would be open on a Sun. night and not too noisy. After walking in and then out of several dodgy French cafes, a brightly lit, pastel sign down a side street caught my eye. We followed it and to our surprise, stumbled into a full-on '50's style, American Diner!

So, the day started with one of Paris's most celebrated pastry shops, and ended with chicken fingers and nachos!

A Quote

Scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the quote I just discovered from a friend that perfectly matches the image I chose to represent this moment in my life and this blog...I had to travel all the way to Budapest to find the quote the matched the painting...and strangely enough, a few weeks ago, a friend I met in NYC who lives in Paris led me south to a place where Leonardo DaVinci once lived...and we spent an afternoon absorbing his creations and inventions of flight...

On Dreams and Devastation

Tonight I had an interesting discussion with a friend over Indian food. We were talking about people who go to foreign countries and become so shocked and disoriented from the foreign ambiance and culture, that they become temporarily insane.

So I wondered,what is it that hurts us so when what we idealize turns out to be less then what we had imagined? What leads us to that terrible suffering that can be devastating and traumatic?

Think about it, we do it all the time in so many areas of our lives...a new romantic partner, a new job, a vacation somewhere exotic, an older person in our family, our children, etc. We imagine that person or place or thing to be all of our hopes and dreams. And then, when something goes terribly wrong and resembles our worst nightmare instead...we are shattered, broken by the experience. Why?

Hmmm...what is it that causes this pain? This is what I want to get to the bottom of. I don't think it's wrong to have expectations and it's certainly healthy to have hopes and dreams...so why all this suffering as a result???

As far as I can dig, I think it all comes down to energy. Maybe our dreams and desires give birth to a particular vibration. This vibration begins to buzz and come alive the more we think about and focus on what we are hoping for. Then, in our rational minds, we fixate on one object and attach that given person/place/thing to our hopes and desires...making them synonymous in our minds. We no longer focus on our desire, as much as we focus on what we have identified as the container of that desire. And so, when that container gives a confusing combination of pieces and parts of our desires, along with an array of behavior and/or circumstances that are the exact opposite of what we desire, we become completely shocked, pained, disoriented, insane. "How could this happen...?", "It was going so well...", "Why is this happening to me...?" We have all heard ourselves ask these questions at certain moments in our lives.

Here's what I'm onto...maybe at the point that those questions arrive, or even at the point when our negative feelings begin to surface, maybe that's a signal that we are focused on the container and not on the very thing...the energy actually, of what we WANT. As a metaphor of what I'm trying to say, here's a go at it: Picture the vast ocean. Then, picture a pitcher of water. The pitcher can only hold so much water, right? At times it's full, at times it's half-way full and at times it can even be empty...void of water. So, if we want to go for a swim, or be carried by waves...would we do well to focus on the pitcher? The pitcher might offer us refreshment from time to time, when it happens to be full, or even partly full. But when it's empty, or drained of it's contents...what can we ask of it? Nothing. The more we shout at it, beg it, cry to it, plead with it, threaten it, ignore it...the less we have, including our own energy!

Why not stay focused on the ocean? Well, we can't literally drink from it, but we can dive into it and it will carry us. It will also pummel us, if we are not cautious...but it is infinitely there for our participation. There for us. And full of life and nourishment and friendship.

Perhaps we need to remember that everything is energy. If what we imagined to be the container of our dreams and what we most want turns out to be anything less than a huge benefit to us and our energy...perhaps we are straying from the Source. Perhaps we need to close our eyes, tune in and follow the vibrational energy of our vision, regardless of who or what it strays us away from...just a thought.

Let me know yours!

A Day at the Ocean in Normandy

I wish I could extend this 2 week experience I am having in Paris into 3 months. I love this flat, I love the location, I love exploring the various neighborhoods around me...if I go out my door and head east, I have mouth watering pastry shops (some of the best in Paris), and a generous array of creperies within a few blocks' distance. Walking west, I have rustic cheese shops, wine stores and classic bakeries. In still yet another direction lies a breathtakingly enticing chocolate shop...all I can think about these days is food!

Yesterday, I went to Normandy with a friend. We left mid-morning from Paris and drove through town with blue skies above us. We drove by L'Arc de Triumph (my favorite of all monuments) as our last sight of Paris and hit the highway. For the 2 hour drive, we basked in the beauty of peak autumn foliage and lovely rolling hills covered in reds, oranges, yellows and greens. When we arrived, we first explored Honfleur and had a classic French lunch: Sausage with apples and sauce, quiche, salad and Cornish Hen in a berry sauce. For dessert, creme brulee.

Next, we went to the ocean and walked the beach till the sun went down. It was cold, but beautiful and soothing to hear and see the waves and smell the salty air. At around 6pm we drove up to Etretat: a beach village with beautiful cliffs that stand over the water and have several beautiful arches carved into them. We climbed to the top of them in the night, marveling at the lighting and effect of the height, mixed with the waves and the seagulls...surreal and mysterious effect.

We finished the evening off with a dinner of savory and sweet crepes, before heading home again to Paris.