On Dualism...

Feeling guilty that I have neglected this blog for so long...and thus my writing to some extent, as well. Where do I begin now, after such a hiatus? Here are some of my thoughts of late: I've been thinking about dualism and how much unhappiness this insidious concept creates. Good, bad, right, wrong, true, false, love, hate, joy, pain, success, failure...we walk our lives on a tightrope, clinging at thin air, trying not to let the other shoe drop and yank us down from our shaky perch of feeling in control... I want to live in the grey areas. I am exhausted of black and white, teetering on high wires, tiptoeing on crackling eggshells...exhausted of precarious landing places, of finding myself right, only to find myself wrong, of pedestals that inevitably come crashing down -regardless of my rigorous efforts to keep them upright. I'm tired of the intense fear of "mistakes" that dualism brings, the night terrors it instigates, the over-glorification, the self-deprecation, the false pretenses it perpetuates. I want my life to be about embracing imperfections whole-heartedly with curiosity, humor and openness. I want to live the in between places, the goofy, awkward moments, the questions, fully. I want to be the tide, to dwell in the dawn and twilight, the autumn and spring, the meeting of opposites, where they attract, entangle and mate until symbiosis is so evident that there is only awareness of mutualism. I want to give each feeling, emotion, experience its due course and equal value, like the inhalation and exhalation of breath, with enough curiosity to follow an impulse, explore a dream and embrace inspiration. I want to live in the freedom of transformation and convert the concept of "all or nothing" to "all for one and one for all".